Growing from adversity

"Yet it is so basic in us to feel that things should go well for us, and that if we start to feel depressed, lonely, or inadequate, there's been some kind of mistake or we've lost it. In reality, when you feel depressed, lonely, betrayed or any unwanted feelings, this is an important moment on the spiritual path. This is where real transformation can take place.

As long as we're caught up in always looking for certainty and happiness, rather than honoring the taste and smell and quality of exactly what is happening, as long as we're always running away from discomfort, we're going to be caught in a cycle of unhappiness and disappointment, and we will feel weaker and weaker. This way of seeing helps us to develop inner strength.

And what's especially encouraging is the view that inner strength is available to us at just the moment when we think we've hit bottom, when things are at their worst. Instead of asking ourselves, "How can I find security and happiness?", we could ask ourselves "Can I sit with suffering, both yours and mine, without trying to make it go away? Can I stay present to the ache of loss or disgrace--disappointment in all its many forms--and let it open me?" This is the trick.

Pema Chodron