Decision

"memories flood in...

regrets tug in one direction...

joys tug in another...

how do you hold a lifetime in your hands?

and what do you do now?

maybe you do the only that

ever really mattered-

you love.

you offer love.

you give love.

you receive love.

you breathe love.

you live love.

you love."

~terri st. cloud

Run away before God...

The trouble with nearly everybody who prays is that we say "Amen" and run away
before God has a chance to reply. Listening to God is far more important than giving Him your ideas.
- Frank Laubach

Tests of Time

In conjunction with Time's Arrow, there are those "Tests of Time" given us at interesting moments in our temporal pilgrimage both to measure our progression, and to provide the Work that time affords us. Mary Oliver speaks eloquently and directly to the "tests" we undergo.

I topped the car and ran back and across the road
and picked up the box turtle, who only
hissed and withdrew herself into her pretty shell.
Well, goodness, it was early in the morning, not too much traffic.
Rather an adventure than a risk, and anyway
who wouldn't complete the journey for it, taking it of course
in the direction of its desire: a pinewoods
where, as I learned, the blueberries ripen early.
Probably she had though, in the middle of the night--Ah, its time.
Sometimes I think our lives are watched over like that.
Out of the mystery of the hours and the days
something says--Let's give this one a little trial.
Let's say, put a turtle in the road she's traveling on, and in a hurry.
Let's see how her life is measuring up, that lucky girl.
So much happiness, so much good fortune. Ah, it's time.

--from New and Selected Poems, Volume Two, "The Measure," 23

Life without wonder

The beginning of our happiness
lies in the understanding that
life without wonder is not worth living.
- Abraham Heschel

Growth

"sometimes i didn't think i could do it.

other times i knew i had to.

the journey now was inward.

it was what was left to offer.

holding the light of you,

i entered my darkness."

~terri st. cloud

Time's Arrow

You feel it most especially in the Fall when school begins and families reconfigure their lives and those of the children to move in conformity to time's arrow. It is as though temporality itself organizes our random efforts and activities into a form of coherence and sends us on a trajectory of change aimed at some unknown future.

Children get up early and go to school to learn and progress. Companies and institutions gear up to increase their activity and productivity. After the slow relax of summer, we are moving again, and history speeds up as human beings set off across time's landscape in pursuit of new challenges.

What will change? We will. We will grow, perhaps imperceptibly, but grow we will and mature in the growing. And time's arrow will move humankind further along, down its road toward a possible Omega point awaiting us--or so it seems.

To be allowed to sweat over lonely labor

"To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given a chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life. The money is the gravy." —Bette Davis

All things ...penetrated

"To the Christian's sensitized vision... the Creator and, more
specifically, the Redeemer have steeped themselves in all things
and penetrated all things to such a degree that the world is full
of God."
- Teilhard de Chardin, "The Divine Milieu"

Technology and religion

What follows is an interesting assessment of the impact of technology on religion. It was written by a TXU executive who recently moved to California to retire where religious differences are more widely accepted.

"One thing is for sure; our world is becoming connected slowly. There are billions even now, almost five billion who are vastly disadvantaged. They have no access to mass communication media like the internet or the wireless communication. Slowly but surely they too will soon be connected. This interconnection is exposing thoughts that previously were cloistered amongst few.

Religions, their basic faith and preaching are here for all to see in an objective manner- without listening to a preacher. Christians say Jesus is the only way; he is the only one who rose from the dead and without him there is no salvation. Muslims say Prophet Mohammed knew the only way to reach Allah and if one does not conform to a way of living one is not a good Muslim. Buddhists believe meditation leads to salvation. Hindus believe surrender to Krishna is the way. Every faith shows the way to God, there is no disagreement in that and that is why for me personally there is no need to go any further. For me a complete surrender to Krishna is sufficient in this life. At the same time I have no problem whatsoever with the Christian, or Muslim or Buddhist or Sikh beliefs. I respect each religion’s tenets from my heart and respect all those who think completely differently from me. Neither does it matter to me how they perceive me.

I am writing all this from the observation of technology bringing the views and tenets of every religion right to my desk, nay, to my lap.

Technology I believe will sooner or later make us respect each other. Why do I say so, because, when I travel around the World I am amazed to see that our technological differences are similar to our religious ones. I cannot use my electric razor in Germany without having the right “German” plug to fit the “German” receptacle in the wall. Germans think the American plug is not safe to use—it can be mortally dangerous—that is why I got to use theirs. Same is true for India or Australia or Fiji or Brazil and this is happening even though there was no electricity only 100 years ago. Come to think, God has always been here and people have seen him and worshiped him in many ways and faiths differently. On one hand, we are content to live with our electrical differences, very happily and accommodatingly; it is rather ironic that on the other, we are willing to hate each other over our Gods.

Let it be of the Beatles was inspired from religious thoughts of John Lennon in the following:

'When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....'"

~Kamal Joshi

Finding God

"The most amazing thing about Jesus, unlike almost any other religious founder, is that he found God in disorder and imperfection--and told us that we must do the same or we would never be content on this earth."

~Richard Rohr

Spirit

Speak to Him, thou
for He hears,
and Spirit with Spirit can meet.
Closer is He than breathing, and nearer than hands and feet.

~Alfred Lord Tennyson

Natural Spirals

Generous beyond all

I implore you in God's name, not to think of Him as hard to please, but rather as generous beyond all that you can ask or think.
- Abbé de Tourville (1842-1903), "Letters of Direction"

The Mind As Nature

In Bimini, on Old Spanish Main, a black girl once said,
"Those as hunts treasures must go alone, at night, and
when they find it, they have to leave a little bit of their blood behind."

~Loren Eiseley

Courtesy Catherine Crews

In every here and now

". . . we meet God in the garden, on the earth, at home. We do not
have to go elsewhere or wait until we die or even be "religious."
We meet God in the nitty gritty of our regular lives, for God is
always present in every here and now."
- Sally McFague, "Intimate Creation"

Gratitude

"it's with gratitude that

we made it thru...

that we survived and learned

and loved and stumbled and

caught ourselves thru...

it's with gratitude I drink in

the sky today.

it's with gratitude I drink in you."

~terri st. cloud

Images in the Tavern of Love

The following pattern of coherence has come into my meditations these last few days. It concerns the love-longing that pervades our human existence here in space-time.

The way of love is not some subtle argument,
but its doorway leads into devastation.

Birds make great sky-circles out of their freedom.
How do they learn to do that?

They fall, and in falling, they’re given wings.
--Rumi

The deepest love is nothing but drinking the wine of eternity.
In this state, the soul finds life only by dying—
But, of course, I wanted things in reverse!

I thought, “First I will know you, then I’ll die.”
But you said, “Whoever knows me never dies.”
--Rumi

So we’ve placed our prayer carpets
on the wine chalice,
and made ablutions there
from the dust of this wine tavern.

Perhaps in these taverns
we’ve rediscovered that life—
the one we’d lost in other places.
--Ghazali

If the heart has devoted itself to love,
there is not a single inch of emptiness.
Gladness gleams all the way to the grave.
--Mary Oliver

Spirit and Sovereignty

If one were to identify the key features of the teachings and vision of Yeshua, it would have to include the following: the power of Spirit, the divine Sovereignty, and the arising out of these of a third force—unity or oneness.

There is in the universe and in the affairs of humankind a force, an energy, a loving power that drives and shapes the evolution of all life and consciousness in its unfolding across the cosmos. That energy is pure Spirit—a free energy available to all at no cost. It simply is. The shape and form, which pure Spirit is using to mold the universe, is a design that we must call the Sovereignty (or more familiar to us, the Kingdom). According to its principles, designs, and laws (Torah), which are by definition beautiful, good and true, something is being created through the energy of pure Spirit (like an oak growing from an acorn planted in earth through the force of water, wind and fire). But notice the Sovereignty (the design of the Kingdom) is not imposed from without, but is a design that unfolds already from within (the oak is already implicit within the acorn))—always potentially there right from the beginning. But the pattern-implicit-within is nothing less than the will and mind of the artist-Creator to make an art object so beautiful that one can only, in the end, stand back and gasp in awe.

Finally, when the ultimate form grows into its own perfection and sovereignty through the force of Spirit, then the divine Will will be expressed on earth as it is in heaven. In other words, there will be no separation. Heaven and earth will be joined into a unity and oneness—and the divine beauty (called in traditional terms “glory”) will dazzle and hearts and mind of all who eyes to see it.

And so we can truly pray: O Beloved One dwelling in transcendence, your Kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in the heavens.

Learning to Swim

Here’s a rule: you cannot learn to swim if you don’t get in the water. This rule applies to a lot of learnings—cooking, playing a musical instrument, bicycle riding—almost any endeavor we make that requires real-world experience.

Back to swimming, I’ve watched a young man learning to swim this summer. Yes, it took encouragement from those of us who know “the swimmers’ secret mysteries” to help overcome his fears. The water, drowning, death, the unknown depths, the fish and other wildlife observable from the surface, all stoked his fear and kept him out of the pure joy of water and swimming and the rest and relaxation of water and the ecstatic enjoyment of all of it. It was only fear that kept him from surrendering to us, to the water, to the eventual love of it.

He could have read books, gone to lectures about swimming, watched a well filmed historical documentary about the sport of swimming, and even taken tests over this “academic and historical material,” but nothing (none of it), would have sufficed or replaced the need for overcoming fear, getting in and letting the water actually become the Great Teacher.

Yes, our encouragement to get in, and once in, our instructions about swimming protocols, practices, and what to expect or do next, were important, but nothing could trump his actual personal experience and experimentation with water.

And yes, he is learning to swim, and yes, his “love affair” with our lake-water has begun, and so a new soul has been “taken” by water’s mysteries, and he is an initiate now into its wonder and depth.

And so it is, with learning to swim the vast Ocean of Love and Mercy, and the Infinite Sea of Divine Goodness, and eventually to plunge fearlessly with “lungs full” and heart-ready into the depths.

Here’s a rule: You cannot learn contemplative life without getting in its waters.

Listening to "The Telling"

"There are no native Akan words for God, gods, the divine," she told her noter. "The Corporation bureaucrats made up a word for God and installed state theism when they learned that a concept of deity was important on the worlds they took as models. They saw that religion is a useful tool for those in power. But there was no native theism or deism here. On Aka, god is a word without referent. No capital letters. No creator. Only creation. No eternal father to reward and punish, justify injustice, ordain cruelty, offer salvation. Eternity not an endpoint, but a continuity. Primal division of being into material and spiritual only as two-as-one in two aspects. No hierchy of Nature and Supernatural. No binary Dark/Light, Evil/Good, or Body/Soul. No heavens, no hells. The Akan system is a spiritual discipline with spiritual goals, but they're exactly the same goals it seeks for bodily and ethical well-being. ....if the Telling was a religion, it was very different from Terran religions since it entirely lacked dogmatic belief, emotional frenzy, defferal of reward to a future life, and sanctioned bigotry."

~Ursula Le Guin, "The Telling"

Before you...

"Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try. Before you retire, save. Before you die, give."
—William A. Ward

Endless

And I say to myself: Here is your road
without beginning or end, appearing
out of the earth and ending in it, bearing
no load but the hawk's kill, and the leaves
building earth on it, something more
to be borne. Tracks fill with earth
and return to absence. The road was worn
by men bearing earth along it. They have come
to endlessness. In their passing
they could not stay in, trees have risen
and stand still. It is leading to the dark,
to mornings where you are not. Here
is your road, beginningless and endless as God.

--from Wendell Berry's A Native Hill

Colonization

It is instructive that in the growth of a human being across the span of a life-time, how love colonizes the human soul early on, right at the height of its egoic awakening in adolescence and begins to expand its territory. A young person falls in-love with the image that he or she sees (or feels) of itself in the face of the “other,” and the subversion of the ego, and the expansion of the colony of love begins.

It is a harsh colonization, for the dreams and ideals of love push the soul beyond the limits and conception of itself, and shatters its many ideas and ideals as “false illusions” over and over again, till a newer self begins to form outside the ego. It is a life-long struggle of construction and deconstruction until the glimmer of the Infinite and Divine Compassion behind the false masks of the ego’s face appears, almost unrecognized.

This is God’s work, the task of Spirit, the steep learning curve, the growth of the inner Angel in which the soul participates willy-nilly. We are here to learn. Separation and return have made it so. We have no real choice in the colonization except to resist it or else to accept the force of Spirit leading us on the path beyond what we thought was ourselves into the infinite depths of Divine Love.

Calling

i wanted to live
in solitude, unbothered
love bade me mingle
in the busiest places

tried to hide
in a forgotten corner
love sent me out
trumpet in hand

cloistered my heart
in the monestary of convenience
love thrust me out
and surrounded me with need

~Brad Culver

Separation and Return

The whole story, the plotline, the adventure of human experience and existence can be told in three words—separation and return.

Human beings, since their appearance, have been moving across this horizon on a journey that begins at its own ancient Source, in a state of unknowing and innocence from which there has been the inevitable and necessary separation, followed by the long story of the human adventure that, in the end, will lead to return.

Everything, all human history, every family, tribe, and nation, in fact, every single individual is caught up in and lives out the abundant details of this story—separation and return.

The question is, of course, why? The simple answer is that it is mirrored and explained in every child in each family that begins with birth, followed by the long slow growing up that will result in separation, but then make its way back to a larger and fuller participation in family affairs and the creation of a continued matrix for future generations. There, the story is repeated and replicated, but again, one must ask for a greater explanation.

Is it simply a never ending and even fruitless cycle, a merry-go-round from which we can never escape, or is some other purpose unfolding? The answers to these larger questions do not lie in the details, but in something that is truly cosmic. Three great answers arise out of and from within this story as seeds that eventually mature and bear fruit within the story itself.

The first is the answer of wisdom. Wisdom streams through this venture reproducing itself. There is no other way for wisdom to accumulate and mature than to flow through time with its struggles and contradictions producing wisdom.

The second is the sacred stories, myths, and legends that both hide and convey a greater Truth—larger than the individual soul and it stories bearing “news” of both our origins, purpose and destiny.

The third is personal embodiment and realization of this wisdom and these truths for every soul that lives in and through their own individual lives and stories.

These three: wisdom, sacred teaching through myth, and embodiment are the seeds and flowering of the adventure of living across this vast horizon called the Ages of Time and our own individual lifetimes within it. We are here to gain wisdom, learn truth, and embody what we learn through our own deep experience of separation and return.

Times of secret prayer

It is impossible to live the life of a disciple without definite
times of secret prayer. You will find that the place to enter in is
in your business, as you walk along the streets, in the ordinary
ways of life, when no one dreams you are praying, and the reward
comes openly, a revival here, a blessing there.
- Oswald Chambers

Recklessness

Love,
not reason, is reckless.

Reason seeks out a profit,
but Love comes on strong, consuming herself,
unabashedly.

Yet in the midst of suffering,

Love proceeds straight-forward
and hard-surfaced like a millstone.
Having died to self-interest,
Love risks everything,
and asks for nothing.

Love gambles away every gift
God has ever bestowed.

--Rumi, Mathnawi, VI, 1967-70

The inner illumination of the Spirit

If you have to be reasoned into Christianity, some wise fellow
can reason you out of it! If you come to Christ by a flash of the Holy Spirit so that by intuition you know that you are God's child,
you know it by the text but you also know it by the inner light, the inner illumination of the Spirit, and no one can ever reason you out of it.
- A. W. Tozer

Bradbury on God and love

"I love you and I forgive you. I am like you and you are like me. I love all people. I love the world. I love creating..... Everything in our life should be based on love."

~Ray Bradbury


"Joy is the grace we say to God."

~Ray Bradbury